dear auto-tune

I'm not sure where to begin, you know? I guess I'll start off where I believe should be most important: Your unrelenting contributions to the continuous downfall of music. I mean really I don't have a problem with you making guest appearances on tracks now-a-days...in fact when you are on a song at the right time with the right vibe, I thoroughly enjoy your presence. However seeing as though those times are few and far between I must reprimand you for all that you've done in the past few years. 2008 was a horrible year for you. In terms of making rumps shake and making highly untalented people famous, then it was a great year for you. In terms of making genuinely good music this year wasn't one of your best, to say the least. It is my belief that you have been taking away the true meaning of music (especially in hip-hop/rap). I used to listen to hip-hop because I could relate to some of these dudes who were struggling with life. Trying to make the best of life even when you're handed complete bullshit. Now it seems as though I have to have a $300,000 car, 3 separate "bitches" on my side at all times, Patrone in my cup whenever I'm drinking, and have my love lockdown to relate to you. I'm sorry but with the economy with the way it is right now, I can only manage to relate to one of those. If that. I miss the messages that songs used to send me. What's your message now? I guess your message is for me to get money. Listen, from very very early in my life I've known that I need to get money to live a sustainable and comfortable life here in the United States. I don't need a constant reminder from you. What I need from music is inspiration. I need to...actually I'm sorry, I don't need anything from you.
What I want from you is to hear your stories. Your struggles. Your loves. Your life. I want to get taken away for 3:30 into a world where self-expression rules the kingdom, not legal tender notes handed to us by the Federal Reserve Bank. I'm kind of straying away from the point I think now, but this is all very relevant to what I'm trying to say. Because of you, auto-tuner, I've gone from Kanye West telling me to try as hard as I can to touch the sky, to him telling me in a lame ass tone to keep away from "heartless" girls. I've gone from Jamie Foxx telling me to indulge in the sweet, sweet melodies of Marvin Gaye & Luther Vandross to him telling me it's the alcohol that makes the ladies get down. I've gone from letting Justin Timberlake tell me a story of a gorgeous senorita who hasn't found her king, and that he would treat her like a queen, to hearing him tell me how he can put me in a log cabin somewhere in Aspen. Please auto-tuner....PLEASE refrain from any more damage to the music industry. It's heartless enough without your contributions.


-CJ